to start building your own policy,

November 26, 2009

So suddenly the toilet water is purple this morning. It’s a holiday miracle apparently, as I never got around to putting in that backup disc. I say yo you say woop woop.

Also apparently, it takes longer than one overnight in a chillin’ cold apartment to thaw an eleven pound turkey, so Hortense the turkey is currently sitting in her roasting pan in the bathtub (with the wrapper still on, don’t have a salmonella conniption) soaking in hot water, which will hopefully persuade her to abandon her icy nature and warm up to me a little. I named her Hortense for Mimi Smartypants, who dared someone to name their child Hortense, I forget why. Clearly I have no child and so a turkey is the best I can do. She is a very nice turkey, if a little prone to the cold shoulder, and, unlike other turkeys of other years (I am looking at you, Matilda, damn ye) she has a roasting pan and will therefore hopefully be easy to cook if I can just get her thawed. Ok. I am done talking about my dead pet turkeys.

Also I have a tie dyed apron. Do you have a tie dyed apron? I thought not.


Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! I am thankful for my family, and all the wonderful people who feel like family, especially my beautiful well behaved cats. Also I am thankful for purple toilet water, it is just as great as I thought it would be and possibly is even worth waiting for. Also I am thankful for hot bath water.


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