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it’s all adhesive

December 3, 2009

I have been to see my family, so that they could wish me happy birthday and shower me with gifts such as stuffed monkey necklaces, kazoos and a potato masher. I am now rich in many random ways; also I have an entire case of Tab soda residing in the passenger seat of my car, because this is a funny joke to my mom and has been for many years, and because I did not feel like carrying it up the stairs.

My family is an overstirred milkshake of thick yet frothy batshit, and they are also a very welcome and beautiful reminder that I am far from being alone in the world where certain of my stranger mindsets are concerned. I walk into a house where labels are affixed with bandaids because tape was harder to find, where no one room seems to have any one particular function, where chaos of multiple types is still being sorted into boxes with my uptight, teenage handwriting on them, and I instantly remember with every bit of me all at once that everything about me is flat fuck fine and dandy, because there is a reason for me. Being an adult and having my own general life and surrounding myself by people more or less of my own choosing is fabulous in many ways, but every so often it tends to send me over some edge or another of self loss, where everyone else’s background and family seems so much more pedestrian than mine, and then I start to have the cracks of crazy all down the sides of my skull. It’s almost like an adolescent urge to fit in, I think. Frequently I just want an easy story, easy roots, and an easy foothold in who I am and how I came to be. I know we’re pretty much all in that boat, (hi there!), my family certainly takes many prizes for cool and unusual forms of insanity but so does everyone the hell else’s, but I tend to forget that on a day to day basis until I go back home and realize that here are a bunch of people that frequently make no sense whatsoever but generally make perfect sense to me. And that decades have gone into our song and dance, and that it’s a song ain’t got no melody…however I will sing it to my friends regardless. Today I have remembered that I am Tabitha of the race of Awesome. Ta-dah!

This is my brother Jimmy, immediately after he screamed like a howler monkey and flung himself on the ground. He did this because I asked my mom for a tape measure. As far as I know there is no connection.

This is the glass of water I was drinking out of before my mother removed every trick re-lighting candle from my cake and dropped them one by one into said glass.

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