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a band called holy ghost

March 13, 2011

It’s one of those oddly balanced days where I thought I would have too much to do and so I tried to save as much as possible for another day and then I wound up with way less than I thought and it was too late to lean out the window and add to my dragon tree or re-pot the windowbox plants into their own necessarily larger containers. I bleached my hair again and used toner and it’s super light blonde but not white. Oh well. It’s starting to take on the texture I appreciate hair to have also, that light fluffy straw-like texture. I’m having a rare and oddly timed period of delight with my body, which is so very fucking nice. I’ve just been feeling like the physical shit for the past several days; I’m in decent shape right now and while my body will never be exactly as my brain would like it and it continues to age in tiny weird little ways that create long thin predictive tunnels toward future full blown metamorphoses, I’m remarkably in love with my own face and body. I feel younger than I have in like a year, smooth and firm and light and compact. I feel like I should work out more, but I also feel like I could get away with never working out again and look mostly beautiful for the rest of my life. Isn’t that a novel concept? Technically I could never trouble myself ever again to go out of my way to full on ‘work out,’ just continuing to incur circumstantial exercise throughout my days, eating as well as can be expected, and I would never ever possibly become the flabby, bloated, cellulite saddled, eye bagged, waistline boobied old bag I am generally terrified of instantly morphing into the second I eat half a sleeve of Pringles.

It’s going to be all kinds of weird living my life as a fulltime student and girlfriend, part time chiro office assistant and shaman nonprofit board member. It’s going to be weird continuing to do all of that in SF, far from everyone I have ever done any of my other strange career swappages in company with. It’s going to be weird but good sinking further roots into friendships and environments here. I’ve got a desperate thirst to live what time I have here boldly and widely and full throttle, and not spending most of my energy every day engaged in activities that are a complete and utter waste of my existence is going to be fucking rad. I want to get out and explore the city more, by myself, with friends, with Alain. I want to conceive of more things I want, and I want to go and grab them with my sexy face forward. I’ve gotta lust for life.

Furthermore I am

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