tinker tailer soldier fly

January 27, 2012

Well. It is a beautiful sunny day and my car is fucking me yet again. Today we have a flat tire, and we just think we are so darn cute. I swear to god it’s a ploy for attention. I know, I am SORRY I have not vacuumed you in over a month! I am aware that one of your roof patches is leaking slow raindrops into your passenger seat! It is not my fault, I am waiting for a weekend without rain; if I try to vacuum you in the rain you will just get far wetter faster than any slow leak could ever do for you, and there is simply no hand sewing a leather patch through a vinyl roof in the pouring rain. Stiff little fingers aside, no traction to speak of on an instrument that is literally the size of a needle. Have some understanding.

Hopefully tomorrow will be dry as a bone and I can bribe my father to help me put on my spare tire. I know you think I should be able to do it myself, and I admit that I share your point of view. However my jack is one of those yea old cross shaped affairs and even when I stand on it with both feet, position just so, and jump as hard as I can, it will not budge. Some things you need a big strong man for.

In other and far better news, my house is all set up now. It is homey in the way that only a one bedroom apartment largely devoid of furniture and totally satiated with paintings and cats can be. My stove continues broken, but it is occurring to me just now that perhaps instead of waiting in stoic resignation for the last of three things to go wrong with my car I can just assign that final portion of the malfunctioning triplet to the stove and breathe easier once the tire is replaced. And by breathe easier I do mean pay more stupid money that I do not stupid have, and continue to eat salami sandwiches for the uncertain duration. It is to sigh. Although salami is actually one of my favorite things in the world, so really; every cloud in my life has a silver lining at just this juncture. Knock wood and such.

I am


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