judging by the hole in the satellite picture

February 23, 2012

Having issues with placement today; not issues I guess so much as impatience, and a need for some sort of plan. Now that the present is mostly neatly squared into its predictable roll of the foreseeable future, I am antsy for what dreams may come. I feel the need for a plan. I have the time and freedom for a plan. We shall all laugh together, the gods and I. Is plan time.

I have requested advising sessions with the psych departments at PCC and PSU. I need sixty one credits on my associates degree and fifty six credits for my bachelors degree. I am hoping to take only classes that will transfer to PSU from this point forward, and have the guidance to take only focus classes that will hone me toward my graduate program. I plan to work full time through the remainder of my associates if I have to, which equals about two to three classes a term, which equals six to eight terms of PCC remaining. Which is…approximately two years. When I hit PSU it is my goal to have a highly functioning bookkeeping business, so I can work only part time and go to school half or three quarter time. Basically I’m looking at four to five years of school till bachelors, which is totally fine as long as I am also doing interesting, challenging and forward moving work with the rest of my time. And I guess that is pretty much it. Antsiness down. I just needed to say it out to the world, my plan for work and school. It makes it seem so much more solid and manageable to frame it in terms of credits and years. It’s easy for me to just be distracted by the delicious chewy subject matter, and I wanted a sort of expectation platform that has its foundation in the practical realm. The nice thing about this plan is that I know how to go about getting all of it. I make my business, I do my schoolwork. I excel. The end. Rah.


There are also a bunch of supplemental goals I have. I would still like to take a doula training, because it is something I am powerfully interested in and for my own sake I would like to know how to do it right. Just in case. I want to someday be able to help low income or disadvantaged people learn how to understand and get the most out of their tax returns. I still want to volunteer with a kids’ reading program of some sort. I still want to make my fleece coats for homeless people. I still want to volunteer something of some sort at some time in some sort of gerontology situation. I want to be writing again about world issues that inflame me; I will never give over writing about times I fell down, which is the key to the soul of my writing, but I have been reading old blog entries that I wrote when I was outraged or overjoyed by something that happened in the wider world, and I miss that passion. I want to eventually have three or five dollars a month to donate to planned parenthood or ocean rejuvenation or whales or wolves. I would fucking adore to sponsor a child somewhere. I want to learn to play the saxophone, and I am prepared for it to take me a long ass time; I don’t care, it is the world’s sexiest instrument and I can imagine letting my soul out of it like I have never been able to see with any other instrument. I have to keep painting, and I have to keep getting better; my current skill level is bothering me, I may even take an art class at some point so as to not stagnate within the limits of my own ability and imagination. I want to enjoy and support the fuck out of the amazing and wonderful family and friends I am finally within touching distance of again; I want to share my life and projects and share theirs, and fling sky high celebrations and drink clouds out of coffee across turned tables. And I really really want that motorcycle.

I think this is just my ENGAGE button hitting the back of my spine. I have all this awesome shit amassed, and now I just want more awesome shit. I’m like the borg. My appetite for new knowledge and technology and multi species body parts is insatiable. Resistance is futile. Onward.

Furthermore I would really like a caramel apple. Really very much.





I am


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