swimming in the magic

April 13, 2012

I am so happy.

It’s a pale sunny morning with skies all layered in blue and white clouds, out my left window the grainy kind that look like someone water colored them on behind the four bridges I can see, bonafide electric blue sky and pure unbuttered popcorn clouds out the window to my right.

I am so incredibly happy to be here. I walked this morning in just a heart crushing stream of ecstasy. It is so beautiful here, and people go out of their way to keep it so and add strange little precious things to it. Nature is appreciated here, and nourished, and elaborated upon. The trees are beating up the sidewalks. Flowers clog the gutters and lie broken or petaled in the streets.

I feel that I can see the next stages of my life for the first time. It’s like the theory of deja vu in reverse, where I keep getting flashbacks in my head of things that feel like they’re going to happen. Maybe it’s just knowing what I really want for the first time in my life and loving it and working toward it successfully and being so damn pleased about it. Maybe my subconscious is just projecting my waking dreams from my doormouse mind, where they are running on repeat to everyone’s intense delight. There is just nothing to stop me now. Even if I get hurt or get super poor or have a child or what have you; I have all the time in the world or it won’t matter. I can suddenly have a five and a ten year plan. And I do, which is so out of character it is nothing short of ridiculous and fanciful and full of gardens with ceramic mushrooms. It is void, and without form, but it moves upon the face of my deep quiet and although I never look at it I hold it somehow or perhaps it just stays on its own, and I know that it is there percolating and at exactly all the right times bits of it will pop up like peas in soup and everything will be delicious. (knock wood). (it is ok if the physical grace and astounding memory peas never pop up. One must make the occasional sacrifice).

There is a huge blue hole in the center of the biggest white cloud in the wide bright sky, and it makes me want to tunnel through it to the hot, sunny bank of a cold rushing river. I can kind of understand why some people name their daughters Summer. It really is one of the best things ever. I hope nobody ever names their kid bacon, although I feel sadly like this might have already happened. There is after all a turkey carving lightsaber.

If I could have anything in the world right now I think it would be a cold turkey sandwich and the sanction to smoke a cigarette inside. I know I am evil twice in that sentence but animals are delicious and sometimes you don’t want to quit every little thing you’re doing just to have three puffs of a cigarette. The world is a vampire. God I love it though.

Stupid dubstep. I am so tired of it. And this is the same world that took away our Voxtrot. See also, world; vampire.


I am


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