Today is one of those days where I am overwhelmed by the beauty of all things, and of humans in particular. It becomes so easy, when you age into responsibility and caretaking, to focus on the things that are going terribly wrong and the suffering that festers like dotted swiss across the entire planet; it becomes easier to feel the panic and the pain of how little you can touch and change and better.

Some days though, every act of kindness shines through like January sunshine and wallops you in the face like I imagine a meteor would. The world is just as full of love and unselfishness and small acts of charity and moments of eye to eye empathy as it ever has been or ever will be of sadness. I want to hug every last person in it, even Kobe Bryant. Almost even Kobe Bryant.


I am


when we used to sing

January 23, 2013

This morning I was informed that I should own one of these, for the wearing pleasure of my cats. This is funny, because apparently I am just the kind of person (or maybe I just have the kind of cat) that makes people itchy around the trigger fingers when it comes to this sort of thing. I was actually in fact already gifted one of these for my birthday, and Lucky wore it for .002 seconds before turning into a spawn of satan and ripping it off and hiding it under the Christmas tree. Well under the Christmas tree, I might add; never let her usual look of cantankerous disinclination fool you into thinking she’s not a clever little ten clawed shit.

Ok, ok, without further ado, I present the picture that has never thus far failed to make me laugh like a donkey hyena hybrid until my abs hurt and my eyes cry:


One look at it and you just know they were really trying for a happy picture and just failed for days and finally gave up all like, at least we got one where the cat is actually wearing the damn thing, and is not covered in the blood of its many victims.

I am

12 version steel pulse

January 22, 2013

First math test in years in fifty seven minutes. I haven’t been so nervous since I drove down the 101 all by myself and wound up lost in the hills of southern California for like nine hours. At least this time I have coffee, and a choice beyond five country stations in music, and a data plan. 

I am

crimson say

January 4, 2013

Falling in love: priceless.

Realizing that even though I’ve fallen in love I have no obligation to like that My Heart Will Go On song: also priceless.

I am



How I Never Finished the Last Two Episodes of Season Two

But I Still Knew What Was Going to Happen

I am

a dancer on thin ice

January 3, 2013

So people have been telling me for a couple of years now but I just realized today that my eyes have turned blue. Weirdest feeling ever.

I just went and looked at them again, and they’re green now. I swear to god I am not making this up. It was the strangest thing, to look into the rearview mirror and encounter blueness like an afternoon river where only green and brown had been before. It makes me want a Lord, so that we could glee out together about how fearfully and wonderfully I am made.

Seriously, I wonder what makes eyes change over time, not just in color but in general. They’re such delicate, precise little wonderballs.


I did a google search but my research brain has not had coffee yet and now I am confused by melanin levels and hormonal imbalances; not my own, I assume, but those listed as causes of eye color change. You know what I am going to go have some coffee right now. Congratulations to me and my capricious irises.


I am

a loaded god complex

January 3, 2013









I am