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after the lighter day

September 16, 2013

Consequences: or Why Discovering Ironing Will Catch Up With You

So the ironing thing. It was really great, you know? It was this amazing discovery for me; it was like surprising one’s own potential around some corner and stuffing it into a bag and taking it home. It made me feel proud and ladylike.

The problem with ironing though, and you probably in your endless internet wisdom knew that there would be a problem of some sort although I certainly did not imagine it, is that once you start ironing you can’t sop ironing. Even if you are late, which you usually are, you cannot just throw things on fast and slapshod like a cartoon character and hop merrily out the door. Now all of a sudden every wrinkle in every garment shows up like rivers on a roadmap and you have to gnash your teeth, fling off all your clothes again, and iron those rivers out. Because not only can you now see the rivers, for like the first time ever, the human brain is an amazing thing, but now you cannot pretend that the universe just made your clothing look like that and it’s too damn bad there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Le sigh.

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