a lotta people lookin for a moonbeam

March 13, 2014

I can tell I have been eating very healthy for about a month now, because I am raving hungry all the time. I feel like healthy food is just constructed to run right through you, hitting various muscle groups and nerve clusters and what have you with bits of energy as it goes, and junk food does a better job of sticking around and cluttering up your belly and intestines for a while. This is not to say that my Cheezits habit has not been running blithely unhindered throughout the majority of my days, and I may be completely wrong about which types of food pal around with your insides for longer periods of time, but. This is how I feel.

I have been trying to eat healthy lately because a) it is good for you and b) (and most importantly) it is cheap. I am trying to be as cheap as possible because the closer our wedding gets the more nervous I get about paying for it. The only things I have ever purchased before in my life time that cost as much as this wedding (and to our credit they each cost quite a lot more) are a car and a college education, and both of those come with nice little monthly payments. Also interest, but interest makes sense to me. Gathering ye roses while ye may and stuffing them into a big bank as often as you can to just hang out and wait around for the big day of spending does not make as much sense to me. Probably because I’ve never done it. What I have done is keep up a cheerful policy of money comes in, money goes out. Just like healthy food.

All this to say, my combined desire to save money and eat healthy things has culminated in my rubbing all the Habanero Barbecue powder off the almonds from the bags that someone left in the lunchroom for everyone else to have for free, because nobody on the damn planet likes things that are flavored Habanero Barbecue.

I do have to say that Essence of Mostly Gone Habanero Barbecue does actually taste pretty good on almonds. Also that Habanero Babecue powder will in fact burn the shit out of your hands if you decide that rubbing the almonds between your palms is the most efficient way to remove the powder. It is, but. It is also not worth it.

I am


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