watchin’ the tide roll away

February 26, 2015

I was just walking back to the office from picking up delicious things at Woodblock Chocolate (nice people, great chocolate), and I saw somebody familiar-looking at a bus stop. Sure enough, it was my friend Brandon, and we said Hi and I gave him a bar of chocolate because to be honest they gave me a lot of samples and I was already wondering to myself what I was going to do with all of them because there is no way my ass needs that much chocolate even if it is of the pure 70% super special locally handcrafted variety.

And then the best thing happened.

Brandon reached into his bag and he pulled out another bag and out of that he pulled a couple of sea salt caramels (I know, at that point you were expecting a rabbit or something but no), and he gave me these caramels and then his bus came and I continued walking to my office.

And I am just glimmering on the inside because I live in a world where you can meet a friend unexpectedly at a bus stop and you can trade candy.

Maybe I just missed out on this delightful phenomenon by never having a childhood bus stop and everybody else is all like oh I did that ten thousand times and twice on Halloween, but I am pretty happy with it. Now I have chocolate and caramels.

I am


not step on worms, ok?

February 6, 2015

Every time it rains a lot I have to remind myself that I was not placed on this earth to be the sole overthrower of the great Annelid genocide.

Seeing worms on the sidewalk just pisses me off. They can pretty much do one thing as far as I know, and that thing is burrow. Maybe their eating and pooping are included in burrowing, I can’t really remember. And yet here they are on the sidewalk, an unyeildingly unburrowable substance. And they probably got there on their own, they probably thought ‘oh hey it looks like a good time to cross the great unburrowable desert because there is a lot of water on it right now’ or whatever, and then they got stuck. And then someone steps on them, and then I see them, and then I get upset.

It bugs the crap out of me to see a worm on a sidewalk, ever, but especially if it has been smooshed already. If it has not been smooshed already, in general I tend to pick it up and put it into some nice grass. (Everyone who has ever allowed me to touch them with my fingers just recoiled).

But when it rains like it has been lately, the sidewalks are literally peppered with worms and there is just no picking them all up and putting them all into some nice grass. There is just not time for that, and I am also not supposed to be doing things that could lead to me becoming a legitimately crazy person.

I deal with this by reminding myself to look up, and trying to have big thoughts on how all of us are mostly just screwed in the long run, the earth is totally out to get us and always has been.

But I still feel unhappy about it.


Can you all