Man I am turning into a caricature of myself. If I was in a young adult book, Encyclopedia Brown would divine that I was the culprit on the strength of a stray kleenex, or because someone overheard a series of staccato violent sneezes scuttling down the hidden passage away from the stabbed corpse.

All my life I have enjoyed my days (and my nights) allergy free. I have rested insolently on my laurels as family and friends suffered from hay fever and swollen eyes and what have you, and I have been untouched.

Now I sneeze in my lying down and in my rising up, and pretty much anytime I move my head all the time in between. I meant to try Zyrtec today (only the Walgreens kind so it is called Wal-Zyr. This bothers me. I think that Waltec sounds better) but I forgot. Le sniff.


I am


So I’ve spent the last year taking math classes.

This is not because of some undying love of or unquenchable yearning for math. This is because I am in this tunnel, and at the end of the tunnel there is a stupid piece of paper that will be immediately followed by a couple of other stupid pieces of paper, all of which will allow me to do what I want with my life and simultaneously have dollars, and the piece of paper at the end of the tunnel absolutely requires that I take a lot of math classes. (Also I put off all of the math classes until the very end of my degree because I hated math. And I was stupid).

Perhaps you have guessed by the fact that I am actually writing about it now that I have burst out the end of that math taking tunnel and have taken the last math class I will ever have to take in my entire life, unless I decide at some point that I want to take more math classes, for reasons currently unknown but not at all unimaginable. This is a good guess, and is totally accurate. I am done with math classes. I am done with math classes. I am done with math classes. But you know what? Against all probable odds, to the great confoundment of anyone who cares, not least myself, I am not done with math.

It turns out that I like math. It also turns out that I am good at math. I do not enjoy learning brand new math concepts at the rate of six new modules per week for over a year straight; but I do like math. I am not immediately very good at any math I learn at the rate of six new modules per week and at this point my brain feels like so many stacks of frail sheets of twice-done homework paper, but you know what? In the long run and after outlandish amounts of dumb raw unflinching effort, it turns out that I am good at math. And that I like math. And also that I am a completely different person in certain parts of my neurowiring.

So here is something that I like, that I find funny, in celebration of the fact that I can understand some math jokes now.


math can be funny sometimesI am