glow upon the wall

April 20, 2016

I have the craziest job.

Just now I googled ‘pine trees north carolina’ because I am choosing a painting for a group of my coworkers to learn to paint during an upcoming teambuilding event in NC, and this one with pine trees and stars looks really cool, but maybe pine trees are not a North Carolina thing, and it would be like having a bunch of Portlanders go paint palm trees. Which actually is not that farfetched and probably already happens all the time and anyway most likely everyone is always totally fine painting a tree, because whatever, trees. Every tree is a gift.

In case anyone was wondering, eight types of pine trees are in fact indigenous to North Carolina. We are good all around. I love my job.

It keeps me on my creative toes all the time, which is good for me because left too long to my own devices I get lazy and stop having inventive thoughts and just eat popcorn for every meal and watch reruns of TNG till suddenly one day I realize that my entire brain has turned to gas and whisped quietly away through my ears.

And unlike many humans, pets, squirrels, and inanimate objects that totally do not know what I’m talking about, they have never had that emotion in their life thank you very much, my job actually enjoys my penchant for rampant oversensitivity to everybody’s feelings. My job is to cradle your feelings, and stroll you round the grounds until you feel at home, listen to your ideas, and support you in implementing them. Also send you flowers when anything bad happens to you and snacks whenever anything good happens to you. Also to bully you into community involvement and then when you give in and do something helpy, brag about your excellence as loudly and widely as possible.

Wow I just freaked myself out. I love my job. It is like perfect for me.

Also I bet if I had any sort of rhythm whatsoever and any capacity to speak of for physical humor beyond accidentally breaking one’s wineglass for emphasis, I would be a super sports mascot. I see me as a bird. A bird with a belly. 

stars over the pines

I am


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