colored red

September 21, 2016

We went to Denver recently and while that place is totally gorgeous in an open, vast sort of way (hills like blue upperlips) the greater share of my focus was dedicated to the crazy gypsy moth jubilee that was going on there, and questions about several finer details of Colorado bathrooms.

My first question to Colorado concerning its bathrooms is, why the hell are all your toilets so low? I never actually measured them except against my shin, where they came up only midway, but from the first unexpected extra fall to the last gingerly anticipated extra distance to cover, your toilets all walk away with participation prizes for the shortest toilet I have ever seen outside of Guatemala.

Secondly, I felt strangely certain but could not be factually sure that your toilet paper is shorter and fatter than ours. To prove I wasn’t crazy, I put a square of toilet paper in my book and took it home with me for side by side comparison. Could a madwoman have been so clever?

Behold, the results of the side by side comparison. I may be crazy but I know my dimensions.


It was fun, Colorado. Thanks for all the new information about life.




Oh yeah?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: