whole lotta space to breathe in

August 3, 2017

I am looking back over my time with Saturn in my sign right now, which has been since December 23, 2014. I am doing this because Saturn has been in retrograde in Sagittarius since April 6th of this year and is going to be going direct in a couple of weeks, on the 25th. Saturn will move completely out of my sign on December 19th, and then the Capricorns can have it for a couple of years and they are welcome to it.

Not saying that this hasn’t been the most productive, getbettering several years of my life or anything. I feel like I’ve gone through the flames or the kiln of some blacksmith or potter or ideally some eccentric delightful mixture of both, and come out on the other side stronger and more symmetrical and more fitted for use. But it has been difficult and more and more I feel the exhaustion of it.

The problem is that having the nose to the grindstone for a couple of years will get you all kinds of places, but you will leave a bunch of your magic in convenient holding spots along the way so you can better focus on the task at hand, and then when you reach your destination you will have no idea where the magics went or how to go find them again. Some of it you will be able to find again. Some of it you will not. Some of it you will not even want back. But the main thing is, a lot of the magic that will be in your life from here on out you will have to make from scratch.

And I do not remember how to do this. In place of magic there are math and science in my brain.

So for a start, I am going back over blog entries from winter 2014 till now, and seeing if I get any  insights.

So far I have found this, and it literally made me laugh out loud:

I got married this year, and so did a bunch of my closest friends, and some of them are starting families, some of them are starting new careers, all of us are mucking through a long, complicated, intricate chapter of life called Actually Growing Up But For Real This Time. Getting past my teens was just an introduction to a decade long party time adventure, where I experienced and learned and grew a lot but was in fact most often reveling luxuriously in a second childhood, this time with power and capital. This new bout of growing up, this is the real stuff.

HAha. Apparently less than three years ago I believed that you ever grow up for real. I guess one really does do a lot of growing up between 31 and 33 at least.


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