now your calendar’s complete

September 13, 2017

I let the dog out with the cat this morning for the first time, and while the former wore the rapt beatification of a kid on the first day of school before all of those harsh realities set in, I think the latter is pissed. 

She just killed a bug and ate it looking at me, even though she knows I hate that. It always makes me feel like such a murderer; the calm, deliberate way she goes about it reminds me of selecting meats in the deli department. Sometimes I wonder why, when they were thinking up universes to create, no one took a moment to say actually Ted maybe let’s skip the one where they all have to eat each other to survive. A little dark, ok buddy? We can still totally keep the chainsaws for hands one.


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