April 13, 2017
Apparently when I do yoga every day I wake up one morning and can’t touch my toes. Isn’t it supposed to be the opposite of this?!
You could bounce a quarter off my hamstrings.
April 10, 2017
April 5, 2017
I am currently taking biostatistics, which makes me feel like this about myself
even though it is a perfectly reasonable applied public health based math class, and is not most likely in any way supporting my meteoric rise to world domination.
Biostatistics, though. It sounds so impressive. So studious. So nerdy.
Life really is an amazing creature, as I have said before. You can learn all that there is to know about your ways in a month, and yet after years you can still surprise yourself.
March 16, 2017
Last night I made a whale.
It is not the most beautiful whale, it looks a little raggedy and a bit untrustworthy, these factors directly leading to my naming it Ill Mitch, but it is my own whale and I love it. Actually it is Mia’s own whale, and hopefully she also loves it.
I was hoping to make it in only two episodes of Poirot, but first I sewed the flippers on the wrong side, and then I forgot to stitch the belly piece in, and then my god damn sewing machine decided to spit out the bobbin and both of the pieces that hold it in for like forty minutes; so it took me two and a half episodes of Poirot, and two glasses of beer, and a Milky Way.
Eventually Ill Mitch is going to have cute little embroidered eyes and then he will be much more adorable, but I finished him after extreme frustration at like 2AM last night and did not have the wherewithal to embroider. Also the episode of Poirot was annoying me.
Here is hoping that Ill Mitch lasts longer than Sharkie, who had his eyes ripped tragically out of his face, and Ducky, who lost basically all limbs within one day. Perhaps the lack of cutesy descriptive name will be the difference.
PS. Here is the pattern I used to make the whale. I am sharing it because the website I found it on was so full of ads I despaired of ever actually being able to download the PDF. ( Wallace the Whale )
March 15, 2017
Keep her busy in front of the mirror, and you’ll never have to worry about her anywhere else.
Begin her addiction young enough and long after natural beauty has faded she’ll worship at the altar of the bottle, the jar, the tweezer, the brush.
This is not the wand I choose. This is not the magic I claim.
March 14, 2017
I would just like to say that when I was seventeen and listened to Astro Lounge by Smashmouth for the first time, I did not even know the word aqueduct.
I know this because when I revisit this album fourteen years later I remember that upon initial exposure to certain lyrics I pictured an overblown aqua duck.
I literally cannot stop laughing. That is all.
March 10, 2017
Here are some of the pictures we got of our lasagna for ninety extravaganza!
Because I do not have anyone else’s permission to use pictures of them they mostly feature the prep process and me and my terrible hair, (ye gods why did it take me so long to cut that off), but there were six of us altogether and we bombed through the whole prep and serve like a skiff of super seafarers who have seasoned their pull togethers with a month of Sundays.
The whole experience was so excellent in fact, that I am planning on doing it on a regular basis. I will most likely crowd fund for some of the costs of ingredients, because my experience has been that everyone likes to pitch in a dollar or two to feed and clothe our homeless neighbors.
Let me know if you are interested in joining. You get a sweet apron and a world of thanks.
-photos by the inestimable Ciarra Godson